Want more tips like these? Sign up for our newsletter and follow us on Facebook , Twitter and Instagram. IE 11 is not supported. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Share this —. Follow better. By Sarah DiGiulio. Your lizard brain is holding you back.
Whether you decide to share your feelings with someone else or simply think about them yourself, acknowledging feelings can help you move beyond painful emotions. When you're dealing with a painful emotion like rejection, it's easy to get caught up in the bad feeling. But dwelling on the negative stuff can feel like living the experience over and over again.
Not only does it keep hurting, it becomes harder to get past the rejection. So admit how you feel but don't dwell on it. Avoid talking or thinking about it nonstop. Negative thinking influences our expectations and how we act. Getting stuck in a negative outlook might even bring about more rejection. It certainly doesn't inspire a person to try again. Now on to what you think: Consider how you're explaining the rejection to yourself.
Are you being too hard on yourself? It's natural to wonder, "Why did this happen? Tell yourself: "I got turned down for prom because the person didn't want to go with me. They're imagining a reason, reading too much into a situation.
If put-down thoughts like these start creeping into your mind, shut them down. Self-blaming or put-down thinking can exaggerate our faults and lead us to believe stuff about ourselves that simply isn't true. This kind of thinking crowds out hope and a belief in ourselves — the very things we need to get past feeling bad and want to try again.
If you start blaming yourself for the rejection or put yourself down, you can start believing you'll always be rejected. Thoughts like, "I'll never get a date" or "No one will ever like me" amplify a simple rejection to disaster level. Rejection can hurt a lot and can be terribly disappointing, but it's not the end of the world.
Tell yourself: "OK, so I got rejected this time. Maybe next time, I'll get a 'yes'" or "Oh, well. This is what happened. I don't like it. Trusting yourself can build up your confidence, make it easier for you to make decisions, and reduce your stress levels.
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Legg, Ph. Remember that it happens to everyone. Validate your feelings. Look for the learning opportunity.
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